Sick & Tired
It's been ee-yon years since i last blogged.. Having lotsa mixed feelings right. My studies are going well, it's the relationship part that sux. I juz cant handle it. Relationships with ppl ALWAYS gets to me.. does the problem really lie with me?? Why can't ppl juz pass each and every day happily?? Why do they ALWAYS hav to complicate stuff?? **frustrated**
Want to noe who's pissing me off this time?? My supposed NYC best fren. =/ Seriously, are japs more sensitive than others? Or am i juz insensitive to ppl's feelings? She gets mad at me over the slightiest thing, regardless of whether or not i'm the cause of it. I've never encountered such problems with any of my other frens before. Not jill, dora, pearlyn.. etc... I'm exhausted, pissed off.. and everythin else negative... Mayb coz i've never lived with my other close buddies, which is why we never quarrel/argue? We seldom even hav any disagreements! But Nami, she's juz too much i can bear smtimes.. she complains that i never read her moods, i dun understand how she feels. Basically, she feels that I dun care about her?? I'm like thinking.. "what the fuck?!" I go all the way out to help her whenever I can, to spend time with her whenever she wants.. I dun think i've even been so sweet/nice to anyone before, not even my ex-bfs!! Which is juz ironic... but still, it's never enough. My bro says, that's because I indulged her from the start. But.. i was juz tryin 2 be nice, tryin 2 help her the first time I met her, coz she was having problems with her bf.
Now that they've broken up, it's not that I mind that she relies on me. I make time for her whenever i can.. but everytime she stays over at my place (which is at least 3 days a wk), we quarrel. We knew each other since last June.. the quarrels started Oct/Nov 07? It has become like an on-goin thing for our frenship now. Whenever we meet, we're at each others' throat. Even if it's juz a conversation on the phone, we end up screamin at each other. I mean we dun literally SCREAM, but we get pissed off, and then we end up ending the call and enter cold war. But every single time, I'm the one who apologizes. =( (mayb except for ONCE) She doesn't say sorry. She vents her anger on me, and then says it's because i'm insensitive towards her feelings. She unleashes a whole load of crap on me, and turns ard and makes me feel it's my fault that I upset her, so I shld apologize. I'm not a ppl person. I think logically, i dun like to let emotions get the better of me. But with her, with Nami, when she begins or when I feel she's gonna break down, I juz surrender. I can't deal with a weaping person. Seriously, i'm always at a lost at wat to do when she does that. So wat do i do? I juz give in..
But yesterday, I juz couldn't take it anymore.... =( I left her stranded there and juz drove off. I know it was mean, but i'd reached my limit. what shld i do? We're goin to move in together... this summer.. she's goin to sg with me... wat if we juz quarrel again everyday??? Sigh sigh sigh....
Want to noe who's pissing me off this time?? My supposed NYC best fren. =/ Seriously, are japs more sensitive than others? Or am i juz insensitive to ppl's feelings? She gets mad at me over the slightiest thing, regardless of whether or not i'm the cause of it. I've never encountered such problems with any of my other frens before. Not jill, dora, pearlyn.. etc... I'm exhausted, pissed off.. and everythin else negative... Mayb coz i've never lived with my other close buddies, which is why we never quarrel/argue? We seldom even hav any disagreements! But Nami, she's juz too much i can bear smtimes.. she complains that i never read her moods, i dun understand how she feels. Basically, she feels that I dun care about her?? I'm like thinking.. "what the fuck?!" I go all the way out to help her whenever I can, to spend time with her whenever she wants.. I dun think i've even been so sweet/nice to anyone before, not even my ex-bfs!! Which is juz ironic... but still, it's never enough. My bro says, that's because I indulged her from the start. But.. i was juz tryin 2 be nice, tryin 2 help her the first time I met her, coz she was having problems with her bf.
Now that they've broken up, it's not that I mind that she relies on me. I make time for her whenever i can.. but everytime she stays over at my place (which is at least 3 days a wk), we quarrel. We knew each other since last June.. the quarrels started Oct/Nov 07? It has become like an on-goin thing for our frenship now. Whenever we meet, we're at each others' throat. Even if it's juz a conversation on the phone, we end up screamin at each other. I mean we dun literally SCREAM, but we get pissed off, and then we end up ending the call and enter cold war. But every single time, I'm the one who apologizes. =( (mayb except for ONCE) She doesn't say sorry. She vents her anger on me, and then says it's because i'm insensitive towards her feelings. She unleashes a whole load of crap on me, and turns ard and makes me feel it's my fault that I upset her, so I shld apologize. I'm not a ppl person. I think logically, i dun like to let emotions get the better of me. But with her, with Nami, when she begins or when I feel she's gonna break down, I juz surrender. I can't deal with a weaping person. Seriously, i'm always at a lost at wat to do when she does that. So wat do i do? I juz give in..
But yesterday, I juz couldn't take it anymore.... =( I left her stranded there and juz drove off. I know it was mean, but i'd reached my limit. what shld i do? We're goin to move in together... this summer.. she's goin to sg with me... wat if we juz quarrel again everyday??? Sigh sigh sigh....