I was juz thinking abt my future... I'm lost... I love chemistry.. I hope that I can be in the pharmaceutical industry after I graduate.. dream of being a pharmaceutical scientist... but as I was surfing online for more information.. I realized to my horror that there are so many areas of study for pharmacy!! I'm lost... there is so much studying to be done before I can finally get my bachelor's degree in chemistry and after that, there's Masters' degree and PhD.. etc... confidence level has juz hit the bottom of the pit.... wat shld i do?? who can i speak to? Nobody understands... ppl close to me often say, "Juz do your best!" But I can't... i think it's not enuff juz to do my best, I want results! They never understand... i think results are very important.. in fact, i think it holds the utmost importance in my life now... I wanna have a high-paid job in future, live in a big hse, have a few cars... a luxurious life... I dun wanna marry a simple (even if he treats me very well) guy... have to worry about car and housing loans, having to save up money for 2 yrs before finally going on a short vacation... owning a normal saloon car... All my life, I've been very fortunate... because i've dilligent parents who worked very hard when they were younger, hence my brothers and I get to enjoy the fruits of their labor now. I wanna repay my parents, i want them to be able to hav a care-free old age which is why i need to have a job with a high salary. My fren once told me that I shldn't be such a perfectionist (but I don't think I am, there're ppl who're worst than me!)... simplicity ain't that bad... it's because I'm so picky that i've missed out on quite a few guys... but i really can't help feelin that way I did... they juz didn't meet up to my expectations.... i hate guys who have no ambition... esp those who thinks and BELIEVE that they'll be holding a normal 9-5 job... normal but secure pay... even though they have been very sweet and kind to me.. BUT... the big fat BUT always stand.... haha~ guess only close frens like dora will know how i feel.. and even AGREE... =P

For the sake of my future, I wanna strive and do my best... and also make sure I get the results... by hook or by crook...!! Then of course, there's always a 'mayb' at the end of the story... mayb i might meet this great guy and fall madly in love with him, and might settle for a normal life juz for him... but i think it's highly impossible... haha~ I know myself too well...!

**Forgot to mention that I went to a Autoshow today... drove many automobiles... Lexus, Chevrolet, Mercedes Benz, Toyota, both saloon cars & truck... haha~ There were SO MANY cute guys there!! Oh my.... It's juz unbelivable... I hope i get such guys in my upcoming spanish course in jul... haha~ took some pictures.. will post them up when I'm in a better mood... till then, ciao!