Shit.. I've lost my voice for almost 2 days now!!! It sux... i've so much to gossip with my frens but i cant!! Coz i'm "voiceless".... too much talking and "heaty" food for the past 2 wks.... haha~ Anyway, I was loading the photos out from my cousin's W800 earlier and I realized that the pics that I took with dora and the rest at the essential brew 2 days ago was blurred! Damn.. lousy fone... lousy camera.... I muz bring my digital camera along the next time... argh~ No choice but to delete the pics.....
In about another wk's time, I'll be on gd ol'cathay back to New York... A part of me wants to stay in S'pore, another part of me wants to be back in NY... I'm seriously gonna miss my family and frens here, the comfortable life I lead here... sighs... Did I really made the right choice of leaving for NY to study in the first place? Too late for regrets now.. This trip made me realized how much I felt for my family and frens deep down. Thinking now, I realized that I chose to further my studies back then only because I wanted to get away from my parents' nagging and restrictions. I always felt that I was a country girl locked in a city. I hated the curfews, i hated the fact that they always tried to button their nose into my affairs... Freedom always seemed to be out of my reach.
After being in NY for a yr, and now back in sg, I realized how much I prefer being surrounded by the familiar and warm faces. I chose to give up my life of comfort in the hope of attaining freedom but I had no idea that the so-called freedom which I wanted so badly, was in actual fact not too far away from me. I realized that the moment one recognized freedom; one will no longer seek it. I thought that I could do whatever I wanted as long as my parents were not by my side, but i was wrong. Truth was, I could do everythin only because they were there to lend me a helping hand and to support me at the appropriate times. *Thanks Dad, thanks Mom!*
If one is blinded by one's own desires, one will not be able to notice or appreciate the many little things that one has already been bestowed upon. Once I thought that with freedom comes happiness, but now I realize that I am actually the artificer of my own happiness..